As I delete another negative post from a viewer, I am compelled to write down my feelings of reading such things. It happens all too much in this industry and you need to develop a thick skin by which to handle the barrage of negativity that this world is, unfortunately, consumed and ruled by.
I don't mind people speaking their opinions, actually, I encourage it. My problem is the hate that ensues, typically from women commenting to other women, or as I call it 'Girl-on-Girl Hate'! This world is filled with such a competitive nature, that women almost think it to be natural and expected to post negative comments about each other. It can be so bad that it reminds me of the wall scribbles during my high school days; juvenile attacks to someone's core being, comments that scar and last with them for years to follow.
There was a time when I would receive such a negative message or comment and reflect on myself. Thinking about what I did to deserve this, about how I could possibly change to alleviate it from happening again, or what I should say back to this person in the attempt to 'clear-my-name' or defend my actions. Now that I am a woman, I can proudly say that it does not affect me any longer... I simply delete! I do not focus on what was said, nor do I spend any time drafting responses, as it is absolutely pointless and takes such precious energy from the person that matters the most, YOURSELF!
You are all so very precious and it saddens me to think of all the negativity that is received by women, in not just this trade, but all walks of life! We should all be joining hands in celebration of each other! We should be gathering in support and encouragement! We have wasted so much time reevaluating ourselves after an attack, when that energy should be focused on pursuing our dreams! I implore all the ladies out there to support one another! To encourage hard work and perseverance and applaud other women as they travel through their own journeys. To lead by example and hope that others' follow.
So ladies, please don't bother entering into that spiral of negative thoughts! Rise above and remember why you are here! You are here to follow your own path, to do what you want to do with your life, to not try to appease someone else's perspectives or needs! To the ladies out there that have received a nasty comment or message recently, let it go! Do not let it define who you are as a human being, as a woman! Do not let it change what you want from life! Do not let it dictate how you move forward! Instead, remind yourself of how far you have come, of the hard work that you have put into reaching for what makes you smile. Since, after all, you are the most important person in this world!
To the writers of the negative posts, I only hope that you get to a point in your life where bringing someone down does not bring your joy. Where you can honestly watch another woman doing well, and applaud her for it. I forgive you all; from my younger days to present, as you have been instrumental in me getting to this positive point in my life. Forgiveness is key, and I forgive you.
I am saying thank you for a lot of things today. As I am hearing many sad stories from across this globe, from pain of loved ones to happenings of natural disasters, I am left with a feeling of absolute gratitude and appreciation for what I have in this crazy world!
There was a time, not too long ago actually, that I really didn't like who I was. I wasn't confident in the body that I was living in, always hoping that my belly would get flatter, or that my swimmer's shoulders were smaller, or wishing that I wasn't taller than most men that I meet... many critiques and things that I considered 'flaws' ruled my thoughts each day! I was always wishing to be someone else, or at least, a better version of myself... chasing my self-worth and happiness.
As I get ready for two casting calls tomorrow, I think to myself, what may come from the results is not as important as what I actually feel and take away from doing this type of work. I celebrate myself with the camera, instead of trying to master the perfect pose in order to hide those so-called flaws of mine. I am proud to know that I represent myself as the woman I am, not just doing any concept that comes my way and desperately hoping to have another shoot completed to post on my profiles! I am selective with my projects, as I want my portfolio to represent who I am as a person. Others' opinions of my work are just that, opinions! Everyone is entitled to having their own, but now, I know that they do not define who I am, nor should they resonate with me and make me want to change myself in order to appease them.
As the lovely Gloria Gaynor once sang, "I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses!" I am a 6-foot ginger, built more like a curvy Viking than a typical lady, who could probably tackle and pin most people around me. I except my strength and my stature with open arms and I am truly thankful for the acceptance I finally have for myself!
Stand tall, be proud and be who you are as an individual, its the best version of yourself there ever will be!
After a year of taking my modelling more seriously, I have now released my website for your viewing pleasure!
There are myriad of photos now in my portfolio; aiming at showing you my versatility through the different styles of photoshoots I have done, my personality that I like to portray in each shot, and my reputation as a dedicated model and muse, willing to do what it takes to get the perfect shot!
I am excited to be also starting my Blog, being able to share my experiences, any upcoming events that I have planned, and as well, having you all follow along and comment with me.
This is an exciting time for me and I am so very happy that I can share my journey with you all. As always, I certainly appreciate all of my fans, with their continuous support, encouragement and inspiration. You motivate me to move forward, to push my boundaries and most of all, to have fun doing it! Thank You Everyone!
Lots of Love,